Marathon Running, Time and the Small Matter of the Meaning of Life

On Sunday I ran the Edinburgh Marathon. It was my fourth marathon in less than a year and came just five weeks after the last marathon I ran - the London Marathon.

In truth I ran it because I was disappointed with the way I had run the London Marathon. In the London Marathon I had run far too fast at the beginning and had faded at the end. As one friend put it; “I went off like a hare and finished like a tortoise”. My thinking behind registering for the Edinburgh marathon just a month later was if you fall off a horse the best thing you can do is get back on it. I knew I could run far faster than I had run the London marathon and all I needed was another opportunity to prove it. Well that was the idea at least.

I ran a far more intelligent race at Edinburgh starting slowly and increasing my speed as I went. But I still slowed down over the last eight miles and my final time was even slower than my London marathon by 40 seconds.

Time gives marathon running meaning.

I finished the Edinburgh marathon in 3 hours, 14 minutes and 31 seconds. But it is the 40 seconds which make the difference between this being a worse marathon than the previous one. It is 3 minutes and 35 seconds which stopped it being my best marathon ever and I had four minutes of solace for it not being my worst ever marathon time.

Regardless how good you are as a runner; whether it is your first marathon or you are an elite Kenyan marathon athlete; time counts. The first time novice runner sometimes just say it’s just about finishing the marathon but that is not true. Almost anybody can complete 26.2 miles but not everyone can complete it in eight hours (normally the cut off time for most modern marathon races to be completed). Implicit in the novice’s idea of “just wanting to finish the marathon” is a sense of time.

But as well as looking at the seconds, minutes and hours maybe I should be looking at the weeks and years.

It was foolhardy to think I could run a personal best (PB) just five weeks after running a really tough marathon in London which really took it out of my body. But at 42 years old I don’t know how many PB’s I have left in me which is why I was desperate to run again, also at 42 my body also takes a longer time to recover. Like it or not marathon running reminds me that I am human and like all living things subject to decay and death - regardless how much I am often in denial about this.

The sense of meaning that time gives the marathon just brings into sharp focus how time gives all life meaning.

From my age in decades to the seconds I am trying to shave off my best marathon time. I think about my life in important moments that are too small to be captured even by seconds and years that just seem to slip through my fingers and I don’t even know where they went.

The Edinburgh marathon taught me an important lesson.

After the London marathon I thought I could just effortlessly erase my London marathon experience and supplant it with a faster better Edinburgh marathon time and experience. Instead I realise that marathons are such large events in anybody’s life and on anybody’s body that you can’t just pretend they didn’t happen.

Important events in our lives are the real measurement of time in our lives.

Marathon running is great because they take time and we are forced to live with their consequences for months and sometimes years - whether we like it or not.

I want to get a faster a better PB but what will make that PB amazing when I finally get it is that it took me time to achieve.

(The picture today is of my four marathon medals)

The Pain And Pleasure of Running

Running is different from almost any other sport I can think of.

It is the only sport that I can hate but gives me the most pleasure.

Unlike other popular sports like football or basketball or cricket there are times in every runner's life when we have to almost force ourselves to do do our sport. At least once a month I will know I have to go for a run and it is the last thing I want to do. I will go through periods when I will not like running but will push myself to go out and run. I don't think people who do other sports push themselves to do the sport they profess to love. I hasten to add I'm not talking about the 1% of elite athletes - I'm talking about the 99% of us who supposedly do sport for "fun".

I don't think there are any other sports where you could feasibly ask friends, family and colleagues for money to do the sport you supposedly enjoy. I feel no shame asking people to sponsor me to run a marathon, if someone asked me to sponsor them to play a game of football or shoot some hoops I would think they were mad!

It's an acknowledgement from our friends that distance running is tough, that often it isn't fun and it is a real challenge. It's an endeavour worthy of giving money to charity for.  

There is a section on the RunnersWorld.com website labelled "Motivation". As the name suggests it is there to try and motivate people to run when they would prefer not to go out for a run. Runner's World is possibly the largest, most popular running magazine and website in the world and I would assume that they wouldn't have this section unless it was really needed by  it's readers. It's readers are by definition people who have voluntarily taken up running and yet we still need help to fight the urge to give up.

In this way I think running exposes one of the great secrets of life: 

The greatest joy is often the sum of of great pain.

I love running precisely because I don't get pleasure from every step I take. But each painful step I take adds up to the greatest joy I can experience. If life was a mathematical equation two negatives really do add up to a positive, or in the case of a marathon several thousand negatives add up to one amazing positive.

It is one of life's strangest contradictions; Only pursuing pleasure makes our lives less pleasurable.

Avoiding hard work and pain lessens the joy that life gives us, yet we seem programmed to avoid pain wherever and whenever possible. Despite the popular hymn "comfort" may be the antithesis of "joy"!

There will still be mornings when I won't be able to push myself to out of bed to run the 10k I know my training schedule says I should run and I will enjoy the comfort of my warm duvet. There will definitely be days when I won't be able to stop myself eating the junk food I know I should avoid.

But what running has taught me is that comfort rarely brings joy and in the long run, (pun intended), only hard work and achievement bring ultimate pleasure.

(The picture today is of me in pain directly after I finished the London marathon)

Love And Running

I feel as if I am falling out of love with running.

It has been a month since I ran the London marathon and I didn’t really enjoy myself running that marathon. Despite training really hard I didn’t run a PB let alone the goal I had set myself of a sub three hour marathon. In training I don’t feel the joy of just letting my body stretch out and enjoy it. I used to love training with my wife – two hour runs of uninterrupted time together; no phone calls, no social media, no emails, no TV - just the two of us running together sometimes talking sometimes enjoying silence that only two runners or two people in love can. But as I've got more serious about my running we now train separately.

I remember when I first started running I read somewhere that it is better to not run so hard and enjoy it so you return the following day, as opposed to training as hard as you can, not enjoying the experience, and not coming back the next day. Good training and enjoyment are intrinsically linked.

My focus in training for the London marathon ignored the importance of pleasure. Getting faster and better was all that counted. Pleasure was no longer part of the equation. The PB and the finish time was the only thing that mattered. The ends justified the means. My running enjoyment was sacrificed on the altar of a sub three hour marathon.

You can’t keep doing what you don’t like. The ends not only do not justify the means (as the saying goes). If you do not enjoy the means you won’t even reach “the ends”. I did not achieve my sub three hour marathon and I’m not enjoying my running. I think the same is true for so many things in life. In work when I do something purely to achieve an end result I not only don't enjoy the process invariably I don't achieve the end goal.

I now realise that running 10 minute miles with my wife in training makes me a better runner than running seven minute miles by myself. Finishing a run with a smile is better than finishing my training thinking I am about to die (and often thinking death would be a small mercy).

This Sunday I am going to try and fall back in love with running. I am going to run the Edinburgh marathon. It is far too early since the London marathon to run a PB but it’s not too early to just run for fun. On Sunday I will soak up the atmosphere and first and foremost fall in love.

(The picture today is of possibly one of the races I enjoyed myself the most - the 16 mile Whole Foods Breakfast Run. Because 16 miles isn't a 'proper' distance, unlike a marathon, half marathon or 10k, I just ran for the love of it). 

How My Twitter "Friends" Helped Me Run The Marathon

What is a friend? 

In this social media age of Twitter, Facebook and Instagram that question is invariably asked rhetorically by people in their thirties and older. I say “rhetorically” because it is often followed with a criticism of how shallow these “friendships” are. The argument goes that no one can really have 200+ “friends” and the people who are listed as “friends” on Facebok are far from that. The argument usually concludes that this all points to the superficiality of the digital times we live in today. 

I normally agree with this view and staring middle age in the eyes I am condescending enough to think that somehow I know best and the young people on Facebook etc don’t really understand what friendship is.

Last Sunday when I ran the London Marathon I was forced to rethink this.

In the preparation for the marathon I asked people to sponsor me (and you still can even though I’ve now run it by clicking here: uk.virginmoney.com/marcusryder). A lot of my friends and colleagues sponsored me, but more surprising is that a lot of people who follow me on twitter sponsored me.

On the day of the marathon I also received a lot of tweets of encouragement from Twitter “friends” I have never met. Emotionally those tweets meant a lot to me, and psychologically there is no way you can tell me I didn’t feel these were people I had a real connection with.

In this social media age far from these people not being “real friends” I had a whole new reservoir of “friendship” to draw on for strength. And at 23miles when running the marathon I was drawing on every possible source of strength I could.

Every sponsorship I received and every tweet I was mentioned in helped me to keep on going when I thought I couldn’t take another step.

At the end of the marathon when I tweeted that I didn’t do quite as well as I’d hoped one of my twitter “friends” said I should run in Berlin. And in the true spirit of friendship suggested I do it with a group of them who are also doing the Berlin marathon. The only reason I didn’t take them up on their offer is because the Berlin marathon is already sold out. Now you can't tell me that isn't friendship.

When it comes to Instagram I’ve surprised myself by looking for a possible marathon in Atlanta to meet one of my “instagram friends". You don't travel half way around the world to meet someone who isn't a friend. 

Once again running has taught me something far more than how to place one foot in front of the other as fast as possible for as long as possible.  It has taught me about friendship, social media and how I can still be emotionally surprised.

(The picture today is of a map of the different countries that use twitter, I wonder where my next “friend” will come from?)

Running Is All About Focus

On Sunday I completed the London marathon.

I finished in a time of 3hours 13minutes, although it is only 2 minutes off my PB, in light of all my training and where my physical fitness is right now it was not a good result.

People say that distance running is at least 50% mental. I always thought that was about pushing through pain, being mentally tough to never give up and stuff like that. On Sunday I found out that it is so much more than that and I really wasn’t prepared.

As well as giving you inner strength and determination the mental side of the running is also about focus; focus to run your own race, focus not to be distracted by what is around you, focus to stick to your training. On Sunday I lost focus.

Here is my story of losing focus:

The London marathon starts at 3 different places, one for elite athletes, another for good runners and the last for fun runners. At different points the three sets of marathon runners all merge. I was in the middle start for good runners. The runners I was with were not expected to run much faster than 3hours 15 minutes and I wanted to run a 3 hour marathon. So when I started I ran away from my fellow runners. I went off far too fast. I lost focus.

After about a mile I merged with some of the really good runners. They were running really fast (well a lot faster than I am used to) and they were overtaking me. I am not used to being overtaken so much and so I started running at their pace. Again I lost focus and instead of running my race I ran someone else’s race.

I crossed the 10km point in 39minutes. If I had kept going at that pace I would have finished the marathon in a sub 2hour 50minute time!

I knew I was going far too fast but if running is mental I had left my mind at the starting line, I just kept going for it.

And here is where I completely lost focus. With the crowds swelling and cheering us on I felt invincible. I finished the next 10km in 40 minutes. I had really convinced myself I could complete my marathon with a PB of 2 hours 50! Within an hour and a half of starting the race I had slashed my target time by 10 minutes!!

As the race progressed my body paid for my mind’s stupidity.

At 16miles I started floundering and the last 6 miles was pure agony. All those people I had arrogantly run away from at the start in my group all effortlessly overtook me.

As one friend said to me afterwards, “You went off like a hare and finished like a tortoise”.

In the last 4 months I had trained my body. What the London Marathon taught me was that next time I need to train my mind as well. 

- For the people who are reading this who either sponsored me or tweeted their encouragement my next blog post will be about you - but in the meantime - THANKS!!

(The picture today is of the vest I ran in with my number still attached - I do that after each marathon as you can see from my profile picture which is of my first marathon vest following the Rio marathon)

Are Marathon Runners Children of Thatcher?

Two days ago I wrote a blog post on how running might be an antidote for the worse excesses of materialism associated with Thatcher. Very few people want to be thought of as materialistic and so as a runner this was a comforting tale to tell myself.

But two days, and a few chats with my wife, later I'm not so sure that running is a spiritual “cure” for the “evils” of Thatcherism ("evil" in inverted commas depending which side of the political divide you are). Maybe running instead of being an "antidote" to the materialism of the 80's is the perfect Thatcherite sport and a reflection of Anglo-Saxon individualism.

Let me explain why mass participation running might capture the spirit of the 1980’s down to a “T” (pun intended):

First of all mass participation running, like the London Marathon, took off in the 80’s, this happened simultaneously as the trade union movement declined.

Secondly running is all about the individual. You might have thousands of people descend on a single race but we are all running alone. It is the ultimate physical manifestation of the capitalist rat race and the (in)famous Thatcher misquote; "there is no such thing as society".

Where once we had tried to achieve things as a team (be that football, cricket or rugby) now we believe we can only achieve things alone (marathon running).

What matters to us is our individual times, our individual places. We might not think we are going to win but none of us want to come last.

Is it any wonder the French were suspicious of President Sarkozy's running? He admires Thatcher and his running was seen as part of his right wing, Anglo-Saxon leanings. Is it a surprise that it's Matthew Paris (an ex-Conservative MP) who has the fastest marathon time for any MP? (And let's not forget Seb Coe - although he's never run a marathon).

Running is all about the individual and surprise, surprise just as you had an ideology that championed the individual over the community marathon running took off!

So which of my blog posts is correct? What is the true nature of mass participation distance running and Thatcher’s legacy? An activity that grew up in response to Thatcher's materialism helping people fight against the era’s excesses or a sport that captured the zeitgeist of the age - there is no such thing as society and we are all individuals.

I want to have my cake and eat it too because the truth is they are both correct.

Running is about releasing the potential of the individual. It captures the aspirational nature in us all to be the best we can be. A nature that so many of Thatchers policies tapped into, possibly the reason she won three elections. But being the best you can be doesn't have to be materialistic and I believe that running combats this unbridled materialism like no other activity (as explained in my previous post).

The only thing I worry about now is whether running is really a middle way and instead of being a Thatcherite legacy is a New Labour phenomenon. We are all Blair’s babies now whether we like it or not! 

(The picture I've picked today is of Margaret Thatcher holding up three fingers after she won her third General Election - it's a purely personal choice because next Sunday I will be running my third marathon)

Marathon Running - A "Cure" for Thatcherism

With the death of Thatcher much has been written about her legacy and how she changed the country. Could marathon running actually combat one of the most pernicious excesses of the Thatcher era: increased materialism?

To answer that you have to go back three years before she came to power:

 

In 1976 two things happened:

1. The seminal film “Marathon Man” starring Dustin Hoffman was released. 

2. Philosopher Erich Fromm’s ground-breaking book “To Have or To Be” was published.

“Marathon Man” is a thriller about a Nazi war criminal and a Jewish keen amateur runner in New York, it’s a great film and one of Hoffman’s best performances before he went all Tootsie on us. Irrespective of the plot and acting however the film brilliantly captures the nascent phenomenon of mass participation distance running that started in America and eventually spread across the world.

 

In Erich Fromm’s book “To Have or To Be” he outlines how modern society has become materialistic and prefers "having" than "being". As individuals we have become disconnected from our true natures as we measure our self-worth, our existence and our experiences by our possessions rather than what we are inside – our “being”. The book concludes that in every mode of life people should ponder more on their "being" nature and less towards their "having" nature.

I do not think it is a coincidence that both seminal pieces of work were produced at the same time. They both reflect a zeitgeist feeling that large swaths of people were unhappy with trying to find meaning through increasing material acquisition. It seemed as if the love of money and “having” accelerated when Thatcher was in power. In the 80's you had the creation of “Yuppies”, “Loads-Of-Money” stereotypes and the explosion of the City. It is little wonder that many people needed a refuge from this brash form of “having”.

 

For me marathon running is the ultimate form of “being”. No amount of money will improve my running, make me run longer or make me run faster, (despite the promises of some sports apparel manufacturers). In fact there have even been studies that suggest that marathon running, by increasing the level of natural endorphins, even reduces people’s desire for money and material possessions.

Mass participation running which was just beginning in the 1970’s is also possibly the ultimate “being” sporting activity. The vast majority (98%) of people running in a mass participation marathon are not running with any expectation of winning. We are not running to achieve anything recognised by the outside world. Our achievements are deeply personal (my PB time is important to me and no one else) and our joy is about taking part not whether we win or lose. Or to put it another way our joy is in “being” a runner not “having” won or lost.

 

In the last 37 years I think it would be fair to say that society has become even more materialistic. Like Fromm I believe that we will never be able to achieve true happiness through material gain, but when I’m lacing up my running shoes and go for my next run I might at least get some relief from it.

(Today's picture is of an early mass participation marathons in the late 1970's)